If he could see me now... (Stephanie - 1/17/08)

Holy crap, I'm posting on a Spam Bandits-endorsed blog! I never thought this day would come…

It's interesting to think of my last words to Rory, in the parking lot of Cossetta's: "Some day [I'll become a Spam Bandit]…some day!!" We had just finished up our annualExtended Day-After School Holiday Party/Rory & Nick's Birthday Celebration/No Kids Allowed event on the evening of December 14th, and I had asked him about his birthday plans. He mentioned a film festival he was attending that night, and a party on Saturday in his honor. It was my running joke that one day I would get to meet all of his closest friends that he kept to himself, but mentioned so often at work. It's only after his death that I understood the long look he gave me right there, as if to say "You will be meeting them very soon, but regretfully, I will not be in attendance." I get it now.

Man, I have to hand it to myself for adding that super-cool literary device of foreshadowing[1]! I really hope Rory is giving me credit for that in the afterlife, because you know he would totally be giving himself props for that.

Now that I'm a little less freaked out about posting this, let me share something from school. Did you know that Rory was the MC for our talent show every year? I was really dreading having one this year, but I fear mutiny among the children, which is even greater than my fear of breaking down in tears during a light saber sword fight routine or really bad Hannah Montana karaoke that Rory would've helped orchestrate. So I guess I'll have the Talent Show this year. I'm really gonna miss how we had this MC-DJ relationship – he'd come out on stage, I'd cue the Arcade Fire sound bite and fade it so he could announce the next act. He was the only one, other than myself, who appreciated the Paul Westerberg song I would play as the kids were coming into the auditorium. We even were a featured act in a show one year – I, Meg White, him, Jack. The crowd went wild. That's going to be tough to pull off this year, but I think the kids are telling me it's time to move on.

I adore how Rory has all inspired us to write in the wake of things. Isn't that perfect?

That night in the parking lot before we parted, I actually felt compelled to give him a kiss on the cheek, mostly because I loved him so much, but also because I felt so proud of him for being here with us another year, despite all his struggles. I love you and I'm proud of you, Rory.
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[1] Rory's life …cinematic masterpiece? Talk amongst yourselves.